The Appreciation Pause

Fear Is Not the Only Truth

Fear is loud, but it is not the only truth available to us.

When I was diagnosed in 2014, fear engulfed me. I had to learn how to make room for a thriving mindset, rather than accepting fear as my default setting.

Over time, I developed a simple daily practice that changed everything: taking a few minutes to notice what was already supporting me—a person, a moment, a comfort, a memory, a taste, a laugh, a phone call, or a letter.

I simply name something I appreciate, then pause to reflect on why. What need did it meet? What feeling does it bring up?

Then comes what I think of as the powerful second pause: pausing again to appreciate the feeling of appreciation itself. To be present with those good feelings, and then to appreciate the act of pausing—of noticing the small blessings that make up this one precious life.

Since my stage 4 diagnosis and recurrence, I have spent a lot of energy trying to protect this life. But this dynamic, living life constantly reminds me that it needs more than protection. It needs me to make room and time to cultivate a life in which I do not just survive, but thrive.

I've written my foundational appreciation practice out here in the Thrive section of the group website. You can start right away or bookmark it for the days when fear is especially loud.
The link to save: https://my-healing-community.vercel.app/docs/the-appreciation-pause

Foundational Appreciation Practice

Cancer can train the mind to scan constantly for danger.

Symptoms. Test results. Appointments. Delays. The future. What might go wrong.

The more we rehearse fear, the more easily our attention finds fear.

But fear is not the only truth available to us. Our brains can learn through repetition. When we regularly pause to notice what is supportive, meaningful, or good, we practise making room for another pattern of attention alongside the very real need to stay alert and informed.

What You Need

• A pen and paper, notes app, or journal

• A willingness to notice one small, true thing

Step 1: Name One Thing

Write down one thing you already have or have experienced that you love, appreciate, or enjoy. Then write a few words about why it matters to you.

It can be ordinary, small, or meaningful. There is no "right" answer.

What I have or what happened that made me feel good:

E.g "My Sunday morning nature stroll with the dog"

You might notice:

• A person who checked in

• A warm shower or comfortable bed

• A favourite taste or cup of tea

• A kind message, phone call, or letter

• A pet, garden, tree, song, book, or memory

• A moment when your body felt more comfortable

• Something practical that made the day easier

Step 2: Feel the Appreciation

Pause for a few seconds. Recall the experience or bring to mind the thing you have that you love and appreciate.

See if you can identify how it feels in your body or emotions and write a 1-4 feelings down.Some feelings we are likely to have when our needs are met.

• Affectionate

  • compassionate friendly loving open hearted sympathetic tender warm

• hopeful

  • expectant encouraged optimistic

• excited

  • amazed animated ardent aroused astonished dazzled eager energetic enthusiastic giddy invigorated lively passionate surprised vibrant

• inspired

  • amazed awed wonder

• exhilarated

  • blissful ecstatic elated enthralled exuberant radiant thrilled

• refreshed

  • enlivened rejuvenated renewed rested restored revived

• engaged

  • absorbed alert curious engrossed enchanted entranced fascinated interested intrigued involved spellbound stimulated

• confident

  • empowered open proud safe secure

• grateful

  • appreciative moved thankful

• joyful

  • amused delighted glad happy pleased

• peaceful

  • calm clear headed comfortable centered content

  • fulfilled mellow quiet relaxed relieved serene still tranquil trusting

There is nothing to force. Even a tiny shift in awareness of the felt sense of appreciation counts.
My morning walk left me feeling relaxed and clear-headed.

Step 3: Notice the Need Met (Optional)

Good feelings arise when a human need has been met.

Look at what you wrote and ask: What need was met here?

For example, that Sunday walk met needs for: beauty, movement, space and health

You can use this short list of some of the Universal Thriving Needs

In relationship with others:

In relationship with myself:

• friendship

• to be heard

• belonging

• to be understood

• understanding others

• trust

• giving

• kindness

• equality

• appreciation

• honesty

• sharing

• love

• support

• cooperation

• acknowledgement

• respect

• to be included

• to matter

• to be considered

• to participate

In relationship with the world:

• order

• harmony

• peace

• culture

• play

• rest

• learning

• self expression

• choice

• fun

• space

• enjoyment

• good food

• relaxation

• skills

• growth

• discovery

• creativity

• self-respect

• pride

• freedom

• movement

• understanding myself

• physical safety

• health

• self-kindness

My morning walk that left me feeling relaxed and clear-headed met my needs for
sunshine, space, movement and beauty

Step 4: The Second Layer Pause

Now pause once more. Take a look at what you wrote down. Feel into your body as you recall
What happened?
How did it make you feel?
What thriving need was met?

Back to my example:
My Sunday morning nature stroll with the dog left me feeling relaxed and clear-headed because it met my needs for
sunshine, space, movement and beauty

Appreciate the fact that you stopped. That you noticed. Really noticed. That you gave yourself a few minutes of presence rather than allowing fear to occupy every space.

You are not trying to "think positive" your way out of a hard reality. You are practising a fuller reality—one in which fear may be present, but so are support, beauty, love, comfort, meaning, and moments worth living for.

Over time, this can become a small daily way of protecting not only your life, but also your capacity to live it.

Doing Three Rounds

Start with one and see if you can do three rounds.

You are training your attention to notice what supports you—not just what scares you.

Cancer may be part of your life. But it does not get to be the only thing your brain is allowed to find.

Related pages

• Presence

• Psychological Safety

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